August 2009
10 posts
138. why is it that you guys have to judge me? why do all of you give me that kind of face when i do or say smth? just because i don’t want to say out my family problems, you have to judge me like that. you have to roll your eyes at me when i said there’s nothing wrong. please, just leave me alone for once. do you all ever realise that im always the one walking at the back every time...
137. Being happy is an uphill battle. But you can’t give up, people! Go the extra mile to do something that’ll make you smile today. I dare you. ;3
136. I don’t care what people think…I really believe true love exists out there, somewhere. Maybe he won’t be a real prince on a white horse coming to save me from the wicked witch, but it will be true love. Don’t put down the Disney fairy tales. They are out there.
135. You might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. You sort of suck at your job and your dad gave you an awful perfectionism habit, but neither of those are your fault, really. I’m pretty sure that no one makes friends like you do. I love you, Z. I love you.
134. I love the feeling of knowing that somewhere on the face of the planet, someone wants EXACTLY what I am. I believe in soul mates.
133. The wind was the only sound in my room. It grazed my arms from time to time and kissed the panels on walls. The room stayed silent. At times I would hear rustling from the other rooms on the second floor. Words continuously sent through technology into her heart. From what I’ve been hearing which isn’t much is He’s devoted to her. His heart is stitched onto her sleeve. His adulation continues...
132. I think that I love you. But whenever you and I are together and you put moves on me, I get this little voice in my head saying that I don’t. I feel bad for leading you on, if that’s what you call it, but I just don’t know what my heart wants to say. It’s speaking a different language.
130. i don’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks. i’m going to make it in the music industry. no is no longer an option.
131. Looking back at your pictures would be like nostalgically tormenting myself about everything we had.
129. The person I hate the most stares at me whenever I look in the mirror. I’ve begun to completely hate myself. what’s wrong with me? And more importantly why doesn’t anyone care? The last thirty texts I got were all myspace blog alerts. What happened to the people I once called friends?
July 2009
127 posts
128. Today, I will start being happy.
127. I shouldnt miss you..
126. i told what i thought was my good friend that i have eating disorders and she told me to stop lying and that i was an attention whore. she’s my best friend-was my best friend
125. people always tell me how they hate me being so arrogant, and they tell me how i’m so vain. i sometimes with i could show them the cuts and scars on my legs, or tell them how i’m constantly starving. but i just smile at them and say something about how they’re jealous they’re not pretty.
124. You are the only person i have ever loved, people ask me how you can love a person you never dated. But i believe that only made my love for you stronger, because i loved you for the person you are, not the feelings i got when you kissed me, or held me in your arms. Im sure if those things ever happend i would be worse off then i already am. Its been a year now since you broke my heart, and i...
123. i’m seriously about to have a melt down panic attack. my mom needs to get OUT OF MY ROOM.
112. we went to go see an FTSK show; ryan cabrera was also there. i thought i had a little crush on you. but then when you went with me to see ryan cabrera (even though you don’t like him), then held my purse during it..i realized that i really like you. any other guy would’ve just put it on the floor. especially because i left for a bit, so i wasn’t even there. but low &...
111. everytime you kiss me, I feel the lust burning deep down inside me. I love for that.
110. You’re so vain, it’s a shame.
109. You always complain when a hot guy is dating an ugly girl, but honestly that girl was so much prettier then you.
108. I’m still waiting for you, honey. It’s been 10 days since you talked/IMed/PMed me. Haven’t seen you for 2 months. Did you give up on us? Just tell me. Because I’m getting tired of the pain. Everytime the phone rings, I hope its you. Everytime I receive an SMS, I hope its you. Do you still love me? Because I do. I always will. Xo, E.
107. If only I can relive the happiest 10 months of my life.. because you’re a part of it. You were a beautiful mess and I loved everything about you. You being so argumentative would make me speechless and tell myself how beautiful you are. Well it kinda hurts right now ‘cause I can’t have you back. For now.
106. I doubt you’ll ever read this, but I love you, probably like no other girl ever has. I miss seeing you everyday, but you moved, and it’s killing me. I told myself I’d handle this better, that I’d handle this like nothing ever happened between us. As pathetic as this sounds, you’re the only thing that I actually looked forward to everyday. I guess some things are...
105. Im on the verge of completely breaking down. And you people refuse to acknowledge it.
104. I’ve called a lot of people my Best Friends, but am I theirs??
103. i think i’m beautiful. and if that makes me vain, i don’t care.
102. I want to die, but I’m too scared to take my own life.
101. she broke up with her boyfriend, i felt really excited i forgot to eat dinner.
100. I keep your necklace beside me as I sleep, so when I’m falling asleep, I can look at it and make sure I dream of you.
99. i want to destroy you, burn you, make you regret everything you ever said and everything you ever did, build you up just to tear you down, make your boyfriend break up with you, watch you fail in fucking life. but that’d bring me to your level, so i’ll smile, laugh, be indifferent, because someone like you shouldn’t bother me half as much as you do. i’m growing up and...
98. I get insanely jealous of how publically affectionate other couples are, especially my room mates. My girlfriend is devoted to me, I just wish she’d show it.
97. I want to go, but I’m scared if you’ll be ok.
96. i still think about you. what the fuck is wrong with me?
95. I look at your facebook multiple times a day to see if your new girlfriend is saying she loves you yet. I hope she never does.
94. she doesn’t love you like i do.
93. Yesterday, I felt like shit. I cut myself again after almost 7 months without it. Today, I saw two of my guy friends from my past with the name of my guardian angel, one after the other. And I took it as a sign. It helped me smile after weeks of crying myself to sleep. It’s Archangel Raphael. :)
92. After two years together, you’ve already grown detached and unaffectionate. That’s fine. I plan on breaking you to pieces on my way out of this relationship. Shh.
91. i really wanted to hold your hand today. i cant tell if you’re aware of how i feel about you. you’re still in love with her though, so you probably don’t see me.
90. I lie to everybody, even to myself. And sometimes I believe my lies. The biggest lie I live with are my friends. Who don’t really exist. And one of them also commited suicide.
89. You say Im your best friend but have I ever been your BEST best friend?
88. I sleep to make the time without you less dull. I am always sleeping. Whenever I wake up, you’re still gone. I’m tired of being an option, make me a fucking priority already.
87. i hope we’re together forever. i don’t think i could find anyone better than you.
86. i decided i was going to give up on us. i grew tired of your games and mixed messages. i chose to walk away, but i’m actually terrified that you’re going away for a month and i won’t be able to talk to you. i’m set on thinking that absence makes the heart grow fonder, because i sure do miss you like hell. no matter how many times i try to convince myself otherwise.
85. If I had never done that, I would have never noticed you, I would have never gotten my hopes up, I would have never felt so pathetic, I would have never been where I am right now. But then again, I only /half/ regret it.
84. My bestfriend is now my worst enemy…
83. After all this time,i dont think ill ever be the same.Its all I think about.
82. I met a boy today, we talked for five minutes and I fell in love. I will never see him again.
81. i hate that i’m still hung up over her. even though we never had an official thing. worst part is i still don’t know if she ever felt the same way. i still love you, az.
80. I wanted you to get in touch with me. & now that you added me on facebook I keep signing on, just to see if you’re on too.
79. I really need to tell you that I love you but I have no guts to. Fuck my life.